When there are big things happening and worries on my mind, I find it hard to blog. As happened when I realised Maia had a lazy eye, the act of Not Acknowledging takes on a life of its own and robs me of my voice. For the last two weeks, I haven't known what to say. Sure, I could've posted pictures of the heaps o' projects I've completed in the last two weeks, or a photoshopped glory of Kate in a tiger suit with an angry Alexander Skarsgard (actually I can't do that because she very unreasonably will not let me see a picture of her head) but I've been paralyzed by the worry that by painting a picture of 'normal blog service' I am being inaccurate. Admittedly, that's harsh- when I read other blogs I don't expect full disclosure of everything that is angst-ing the writer; neither do I feel betrayed if people only choose to share the beautiful and the happy. But for me, I struggle.
In a week that included an emergency extraction and dental abscess for Steven and the sad passing of his Nana, my mother-in-law was seriously injured in an accident in Spain when a steel sliding door at their holiday home came out of its tracks and crushed her. A broken shoulder and pelvis may not sound lucky, but it was very close to being even worse. The road to recovery will be long and hard, and unfortunately a large part of it will be in Spain. As a daughter in law and a friend, I feel tremendously guilty that I can't support my mother- and father-in-law in a tangible way. I feel guilty that life with our small family goes on, while our larger family's is on hold. I feel guilty that documenting our lives going on as normal is an affront to the people whose realities have changed.
So, a caveat lector on all posts from here on in: Normalcy by the author is greatly overstated. Behind the scenes, we're anxious and we miss them.